Hey, everyone and welcome to another edition of Phil Goes to the Movies, and this holiday season we have journeyed together through most of the big block buster movies. This time around we are looking at the second installment of the Hobbit... Did this movie hold up and entertain me to the fullest or did it make me want to choke myself with the one ring to rule them all? Lets dive in:
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug- Ok, where to begin, where to begin? Well, the movie starts off "Pulp Fiction" style, with a quick flash back how Gandalf first meets Thorin. After this scene we get back to the main story line with our heroes still running across the country side. Never understood why some of these dwarves are fat, because they are freaking constantly running, so i dunno maybe I'm looking too far into that. Luckily, the movie throws action at the audience right away, with a fight with giant spiders, which can speak, and thats the most creepy freaking thing i have ever seen. Why, you might ask? Because now, the spider can tell me how to go fuck myself as it bites me!
Anyway, though the movie moves, what seems like a rapid pace, at the same time, it really drags on and on at times.... For example, our heroes are captured by the elves and imprisoned, but don't worry plot will allow you to escape equally as fast. Then again we are forced to watch for about 45 minutes about how much of a dick the elf king is... yeah, i can tell that by looking at him, so lets move this shit along. I mean, the movie seemed to speed up the things that should count, and waste time on other shit that doesn't.
Then of course, we come to the barrel scene, this scene was ridiculous and made the movie, in my honest opinion. The main reason was because, I have never seen anything like it before, and it was like twelve minutes long of awesomeness. I mean you have the dwarves riding inside barrels down the white water rapids as Orc warriors are trying to kill them with throwing knives and arrows. They were even jumping onto the barrels getting into fist fights with the dwarves, and the same time the elves are killing the Orcs. The scene at the right balance of humor and action.
Then we see Gandalf doing his own thing, where he battles a mysterious new necromancer, and the special effects were pretty good. Before journeying into the ruins to face the necromancer, Gandalf meets up with Radagast, the Brown. We are now in the second movie, and no one and i mean no one has told this poor schmuck, that he has BIRD SHIT ON THE SIDE OF HIS FACE!!! Gandalf, don't be that guy, tell him he literally has white, encrusted shit on his face....jesus christ!
Now, the elves.... oh the elves, I really liked the new bad ass female elf, Tauriel, but it got really old really fast for me for some reason... like no Orc can beat these guys! Finally, Legolas got his ass beat by an Orc general, but still wasn't that bad of a beating. The things the elves did were cool, but like I said after awhile, ok, enough already we get it, you guys are awesome, defying the laws of physics... whatever... maybe I'm judging too harshly.
So, thats it for now for Phil Goes to.... oh wait, theres a dragon in this movie, my most favorite magical creature of all time! I forgot about much like the movie did too.... it was literally 2 hours and a half hours into the movie and no dragon! FINALLY! We see the thing that the title of the movie was based....the dragon, named Smaug. Now, I will admit this dragon was very well done, from the way it looked, moved, and the voice they used was perfect. The type of character of being an arrogant, pompous, which if you think about it if you couldn't be killed normal weapons, you would be too. I enjoyed every moment Smaug was on the big scene.... I wish I could have seen more of him!
Final Verdict- 8/10 The movie was good, with enjoyable characters, and some really amazing action sequences, like the barrel scene, but it is extremely obvious they are stretching the plot out. I understand, because the source material was one book with 300 pages, but come on, I guess they are going to milk this cash cow, until its dead. Then Gollum will get his own spin off movie!
Well, thats it for now, there are a few more movies coming out, and I will be there to review all the holiday movies. This is Phil Goes to the Movies, so you don't have too!
Monday, December 16, 2013
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Frozen
Hey, boys and girls guess where i went on this extremely cold December night! Yes, its true i went to the movies.... i know, i know it wasn't hard to figure out, but welcome to another edition of Phil Goes to the Movies! This time around i dive into the newest Disney animated feature, and the question did it hold up to all the other Disney animated features before it? Or was it left out in the cold? Lets dive in shall we:
Frozen- I went to this movie not really sure what to expect to be completely honest, so i was open to see what disney had in store for me. First off, I want to say this movie was by far one of the most beautiful eye candy animated films i have seen in a long time. The way the ice appeared as if it was real, and the back grounds were jaw dropping. Disney seemed to stick with its roots with this feature, because the music was extremely emotional, and the women they cast to sing were astounding. The one song, "Let it go" you could just literally feel, the passion of a young girl allowing herself to be truly free after years of fearing her magical powers. The characters were all extremely likeable, ranging from the sisters to Christoph and his reindeer, and of course the loveable snow man, Olaf.
Unfortunately, heres where disney done fucked up... the movie felt extremely rushed. Nothing was really explained! Here's one thing i think should have been explained, WHERE THE HELL DID THE MAGICAL ICE POWERS COME FROM? This is never explained at all, you are just suppose to except it, and this young princess has to carry this heavy burden of these powers. After nearly killing her younger sister, the ice princess must live in seclusion, away from her younger sister and the world fearing what havoc her powers might inflict.
Another thing is, where was the villain in this movie? If you seen the movie, yes, we know who the villain is, but by the time that character is introduced to be the villain the movie is nearly over! In the beginning of the movie, they seemed to hint towards, the ice princess would become evil or she might unlock something evil with her powers. Unfortunately, nothing like that came up or remotely close to it, and it could have opened a whole another spectrum on the movie.
When the movie would actually try to push some character development or actual plot, it would explode into another song. Ok, the songs are performed amazingly, but they don't mean dick after they are done and the movie hasn't gone anywhere. Stop singing and tell me a freaking story... try explaining to me like i dunno... where the ice powers came from? How did the king know the rock trolls? Why didn't the rock trolls remember, the sister when she revisited them again later in years? Honestly, nothing is explained, its like you sit in a roller coaster, and you just fly through the movie.
"Hi, i have some questions for you, Movie," said Phil
"No, time! Lets sing!" replied the Movie.
"No, seriously, stop for a second!" Phil demands,"Where did the ice powers come from?"
"Here, look a funny snow man," says the Movie,"Listen to me sing again."
"Sigh, fuck it! Sure, sing again i guess."
Now, heres where some people are going to be like, "Really, Phil?" The snow man, Olaf, I liked the character he was funny and extremely likeable, BUT he didn't really add anything to the story. Honestly, the movie would have been fine without him... i mean don't get me wrong, the idea of the little guy melting made me want to jump in the movie and save him, myself.
Final Verdict- 7/10- The visuals and songs were unforgettable and breath taking, but the movie lacked a lot of things. Yes, it did show the empowerment of women and the sisters' love for one another. The movie felt like it was written by a 14 year old girl, that left out a lot explanations about plot points. I still say to go see the movie to experience on the big screen and stereo sound, but go during the day for the matinee.
This is it for now, next time i am going to conqueror and review the newest installment of the Hobbit coming out next week... This is Phil Goes to the Movies, so you don't have too!
Frozen- I went to this movie not really sure what to expect to be completely honest, so i was open to see what disney had in store for me. First off, I want to say this movie was by far one of the most beautiful eye candy animated films i have seen in a long time. The way the ice appeared as if it was real, and the back grounds were jaw dropping. Disney seemed to stick with its roots with this feature, because the music was extremely emotional, and the women they cast to sing were astounding. The one song, "Let it go" you could just literally feel, the passion of a young girl allowing herself to be truly free after years of fearing her magical powers. The characters were all extremely likeable, ranging from the sisters to Christoph and his reindeer, and of course the loveable snow man, Olaf.
Unfortunately, heres where disney done fucked up... the movie felt extremely rushed. Nothing was really explained! Here's one thing i think should have been explained, WHERE THE HELL DID THE MAGICAL ICE POWERS COME FROM? This is never explained at all, you are just suppose to except it, and this young princess has to carry this heavy burden of these powers. After nearly killing her younger sister, the ice princess must live in seclusion, away from her younger sister and the world fearing what havoc her powers might inflict.
Another thing is, where was the villain in this movie? If you seen the movie, yes, we know who the villain is, but by the time that character is introduced to be the villain the movie is nearly over! In the beginning of the movie, they seemed to hint towards, the ice princess would become evil or she might unlock something evil with her powers. Unfortunately, nothing like that came up or remotely close to it, and it could have opened a whole another spectrum on the movie.
When the movie would actually try to push some character development or actual plot, it would explode into another song. Ok, the songs are performed amazingly, but they don't mean dick after they are done and the movie hasn't gone anywhere. Stop singing and tell me a freaking story... try explaining to me like i dunno... where the ice powers came from? How did the king know the rock trolls? Why didn't the rock trolls remember, the sister when she revisited them again later in years? Honestly, nothing is explained, its like you sit in a roller coaster, and you just fly through the movie.
"Hi, i have some questions for you, Movie," said Phil
"No, time! Lets sing!" replied the Movie.
"No, seriously, stop for a second!" Phil demands,"Where did the ice powers come from?"
"Here, look a funny snow man," says the Movie,"Listen to me sing again."
"Sigh, fuck it! Sure, sing again i guess."
Now, heres where some people are going to be like, "Really, Phil?" The snow man, Olaf, I liked the character he was funny and extremely likeable, BUT he didn't really add anything to the story. Honestly, the movie would have been fine without him... i mean don't get me wrong, the idea of the little guy melting made me want to jump in the movie and save him, myself.
Final Verdict- 7/10- The visuals and songs were unforgettable and breath taking, but the movie lacked a lot of things. Yes, it did show the empowerment of women and the sisters' love for one another. The movie felt like it was written by a 14 year old girl, that left out a lot explanations about plot points. I still say to go see the movie to experience on the big screen and stereo sound, but go during the day for the matinee.
This is it for now, next time i am going to conqueror and review the newest installment of the Hobbit coming out next week... This is Phil Goes to the Movies, so you don't have too!
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