Welcome everyone to another edition of Phil Goes to the Movies, and today we are going to tackle the new horror movie, "The Conjuring". Honestly, i have pretty much have given up on going to see horror movies in theaters. Main reason is because its not worth paying 10 bucks to see some cheesy, cliche scary movie. You know, the ones I'm talking about, a group splitting up for no reason to search for the monster or killer, and all of the other illogical things the characters do in the movies. Well, lets get to the review:
The Conjuring- This movie gave me the goosebumps every time i saw the trailer or sneak previews. This movie is based of a true story from the files of real life paranormal investigators Ed and Lorraine Warren, which tell their experiences helping a family being haunted by a demonic force. I watch many ghost specials on the discover channel or national geographic channel, so i recognized them almost immediately.
This movie sets the usual scene, a new family moving into a new home in the middle of no where, and the first night moving in the children play a game to past the time. This game is called hide and clap, you play hide and go seek, blind folded, and then if you're the "seeker" you ask for the "hiders" for three claps. During this game the children discover a cellar, which was boarded up in a closet, and after it was disturbed the haunting begins. The situations in this movie make sense and get around the cliches by simple, suttle scenes. It's late, the mother is getting for bed, when she hears someone clapping their hands together. She calls out to her childern, its late and they need to be in bed, and there's no time to play hide and clap. She checks on her children, whom are all sleeping soundly in their beds, and she hears a second set of clapping. She begins to investigate the house, which I believe anyone else in her position would do, and the tension in this scene is extremely high. I cannot talk about this scene anymore without ruining it for everyone else, but it scared the hell out of me!
The movie was very intense, and they played on the fears people have in the supernatural. Stephen King said in an interview there are three types of fears a person can experience. There's the creeps, horror, and terror. The creeps you get when you see a spider crawling along the floor. Horror is something you experience watching a monster chase a helpless victim. Terror, he explained, is when a person can't determine between a safety zone, where things can explained and rationalized, and am unexplained zone, a person cannot understand or truly identify the events happening before them.
This movie hands down dances all over terror by having literally everything you can expect in a ghost story. Ranging from things moving on their, demonic dolls, and even a possessed person. The movie had you on edge the entire time, and they didn't use cheap pop up scares, to frighten you. I mean there were a few, but it didnt rely heavily on them, like most horror films.
I wouldn't say this was the scariest movie i have ever seen, but it is definitely up there in the top.
Final Verdict- 8/10, this movie took its time literally terrorizing you, i would definitely suggest seeing this movie in theaters.
Thats it for now, until next time, this is Phil Goes to the Movies, so you don't have too!
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Pacific Rim
Welcome back everyone, the other day i was sitting bored out of my mind when a friend called asking if i wanted to go see the new movie, Pacific Rim. Since, nothing else was going on, I gladly accepted the invite and away i went. I never pay for 3-D anymore, because, the last time i watched a 3-D movie was Marvel's "The Avengers", and i was not impressed with the quality of this huge fad. My friend talked me into seeing it in 3-D because of the huge robot/monster fights and i agreed. Mostly, because the little kid inside me always loved watching huge monsters kicking the crap out of each other. Did this movie hold up you ask? Lets dive into this review...
Pacific Rim- This movie takes place in the not so far future of the year 2020, where giant monsters have appeared from literally no where, reigning havoc and chaos on the planet. One of the opening scenes you see one huge monster destroying the Golden Gate bridge from the water. These things were gargantuan in size, and they have destroyed most of the major cities across the world. Man kind has been forced to build huge walls, reinforced with steel and concrete, yay! Then first time one of these monsters attacks, it tears through the walls, like fat kids, tear through their lunches! Lesson learned here, if the monsters are big enough to crush a city block just by taking a shit..... then what the fuck is a WALL going to accomplish? So the near future people become even dumber, i guess?
"Hey, Dave," said a construction worker.
"Oh, hey, Gary," the foreman replies.
"I was just wondering shouldn't we be building weapons to kill these things, rather than walls to disillusion ourselves this will keep us safe?!" inquires Gary.
"Gary, you're idiot, ok! These walls are reinforced with concrete and steel! No way there are getting through this!" Dave arrogantly states with a smirk.
"Yeah, but weren't our buildings, skyscrapers, and bridges made with these same exact materials, and the monsters tore that shit like tin foil?"
Monster attacks, ripping through the walls like a dick ripping through a virgin's hymen.
"Well! I didn't see that coming," says Dave.
So, the human race bans together to create these super sized robots to defeat the monsters. Now, a pilot would synchronize his or her brain to the robot, so it can move and fight more efficiently. Unfortunately, it was too much for one person to pilot these robots, so two people would be chosen to pilot the robot. One person would work the left side of the brain and the other the right side of the brain. The pilots then would have to synchronize themselves mentally, which they referred to this act as Drifting. The more compatible the pilots the better they would fight piloting the robots.
Now, theres only four robots, sooooo thats why i brought up the walls earlier in the review..... instead of building walls, you dumb shits should pumping out more fucking robots to fight against, oh i dunno, extinction!
They have categorized the monsters in the forms of tornadoes pretty much, and i say that because they say a monster is a level 1 through 5... level 1 being, not so tough to a level 5, which is a city eater im guessing... same system judging a tornado EF1- EF5.
Now, you're probably wondering why i spent much time on the plot of the movie. Mainly, because the other things like the movie itself, doesn't freaking matter. This movie was 2 hours and something minutes long, and it was boring as hell. For a movie pushing robots fighting monsters, there were only 3 fight scenes.... all of which ending so abruptly or anti-climatic. Now, i say because it basically, copied the old Voltron or Power Rangers fight scenes i would watch as a youth. Monster comes wrecks havoc, and the heroes show up to defeat it, the heroes get their asses kicked for about 10 minutes only to pull an actual weapon to slay the monster in six seconds! Same thing here!
They would be all dramatic, throwing basic punches into the monster's face, and then at one point, the robot gets ready to deliver another punch, and the pilot screams out, "Activate rockets!" These rockets in the elbow propel the robots down for an even stronger blow, which did the same damage as a regular punch, so what the hell was the point of that? Only for the heroes to finally to turn their fist into a plasma gun, to shoot and kill the monster. Well, didn't you dumb shits do that immediately, I mean you're only fighting for yours and the entire human races' lives!
There was absolutely no character development, and some of you are like so what. Ummmm, ok, this is important, in any story, to develop their characters, so the audience will make a connection with the characters. This way the audience will actual give two shits when something happens to a character. This is the second movie this summer, where seems like directors and writers don't give a shit about developing a character, and they focus more on slamming the action down our throats.
Outside the action scenes, you know all three of them, the movie is freaking boring as hell. I would suggest seeing this movie on HBO, or better yet Netflix because you can at least fast forward to the THREE fight scenes! You're not missing anything trust me if you did fast forward, other than some over top acting scientists, a whiney cry baby main character, a hot asian chick with issues, and "ill kill you at a moments notice" captain of the robot army.
Final Verdict- 4/10, this is 2 hours i will never get back, and for a robot vs. monster movie... i would have personally liked some more god damn fights! Definitely, not worth the 3-D price or a regular price for that matter, don't waste your time, like i did!
This is it for now, I got more summer movies i have to tackle yet... so this is Phil Goes to the Movies, so you don't have too!
Pacific Rim- This movie takes place in the not so far future of the year 2020, where giant monsters have appeared from literally no where, reigning havoc and chaos on the planet. One of the opening scenes you see one huge monster destroying the Golden Gate bridge from the water. These things were gargantuan in size, and they have destroyed most of the major cities across the world. Man kind has been forced to build huge walls, reinforced with steel and concrete, yay! Then first time one of these monsters attacks, it tears through the walls, like fat kids, tear through their lunches! Lesson learned here, if the monsters are big enough to crush a city block just by taking a shit..... then what the fuck is a WALL going to accomplish? So the near future people become even dumber, i guess?
"Hey, Dave," said a construction worker.
"Oh, hey, Gary," the foreman replies.
"I was just wondering shouldn't we be building weapons to kill these things, rather than walls to disillusion ourselves this will keep us safe?!" inquires Gary.
"Gary, you're idiot, ok! These walls are reinforced with concrete and steel! No way there are getting through this!" Dave arrogantly states with a smirk.
"Yeah, but weren't our buildings, skyscrapers, and bridges made with these same exact materials, and the monsters tore that shit like tin foil?"
Monster attacks, ripping through the walls like a dick ripping through a virgin's hymen.
"Well! I didn't see that coming," says Dave.
So, the human race bans together to create these super sized robots to defeat the monsters. Now, a pilot would synchronize his or her brain to the robot, so it can move and fight more efficiently. Unfortunately, it was too much for one person to pilot these robots, so two people would be chosen to pilot the robot. One person would work the left side of the brain and the other the right side of the brain. The pilots then would have to synchronize themselves mentally, which they referred to this act as Drifting. The more compatible the pilots the better they would fight piloting the robots.
Now, theres only four robots, sooooo thats why i brought up the walls earlier in the review..... instead of building walls, you dumb shits should pumping out more fucking robots to fight against, oh i dunno, extinction!
They have categorized the monsters in the forms of tornadoes pretty much, and i say that because they say a monster is a level 1 through 5... level 1 being, not so tough to a level 5, which is a city eater im guessing... same system judging a tornado EF1- EF5.
Now, you're probably wondering why i spent much time on the plot of the movie. Mainly, because the other things like the movie itself, doesn't freaking matter. This movie was 2 hours and something minutes long, and it was boring as hell. For a movie pushing robots fighting monsters, there were only 3 fight scenes.... all of which ending so abruptly or anti-climatic. Now, i say because it basically, copied the old Voltron or Power Rangers fight scenes i would watch as a youth. Monster comes wrecks havoc, and the heroes show up to defeat it, the heroes get their asses kicked for about 10 minutes only to pull an actual weapon to slay the monster in six seconds! Same thing here!
They would be all dramatic, throwing basic punches into the monster's face, and then at one point, the robot gets ready to deliver another punch, and the pilot screams out, "Activate rockets!" These rockets in the elbow propel the robots down for an even stronger blow, which did the same damage as a regular punch, so what the hell was the point of that? Only for the heroes to finally to turn their fist into a plasma gun, to shoot and kill the monster. Well, didn't you dumb shits do that immediately, I mean you're only fighting for yours and the entire human races' lives!
There was absolutely no character development, and some of you are like so what. Ummmm, ok, this is important, in any story, to develop their characters, so the audience will make a connection with the characters. This way the audience will actual give two shits when something happens to a character. This is the second movie this summer, where seems like directors and writers don't give a shit about developing a character, and they focus more on slamming the action down our throats.
Outside the action scenes, you know all three of them, the movie is freaking boring as hell. I would suggest seeing this movie on HBO, or better yet Netflix because you can at least fast forward to the THREE fight scenes! You're not missing anything trust me if you did fast forward, other than some over top acting scientists, a whiney cry baby main character, a hot asian chick with issues, and "ill kill you at a moments notice" captain of the robot army.
Final Verdict- 4/10, this is 2 hours i will never get back, and for a robot vs. monster movie... i would have personally liked some more god damn fights! Definitely, not worth the 3-D price or a regular price for that matter, don't waste your time, like i did!
This is it for now, I got more summer movies i have to tackle yet... so this is Phil Goes to the Movies, so you don't have too!
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